Positive Thinking Can Make Success Appear As the Sole Valid Choice, Yet Meekness Enables Poise

When I grew up in the 1990s, authorities seemed to believe that the gender pay gap was most effectively handled by advising females that they could do anything. Eye-catching, vibrant pink promotions assured me that systemic and societal barriers would yield to my self-confidence.

Scholars have since refuted the notion that someone can fix their lives through upbeat attitudes. A writer, in his publication Selfie, explains how the neoliberal myth of the level playing field underpins much of self-help culture.

Nevertheless, a portion of my mind remains convinced that through diligent effort and glue together a sturdy vision board, I should be able to realize my deepest aspirations: the sole barrier to my fate is me. What is the path to a point of equilibrium, a stability between believing that I am capable of anything but not blaming myself for each setback?

The Answer Resides in Humility

The answer, per Saint Augustine, a North African Catholic bishop, involves modesty. The saint noted that modesty served as the base of every other moral quality, and that in the quest for the divine “the first part is humility; the next, modesty; the last, humility”.

For a lapsed Catholic like me, the concept of meekness may trigger a range of negative emotions. I grew up during a period in Catholicism when worrying about appearance equated to narcissism; physical attraction was unacceptable apart from having children; and just thinking about masturbation was a punishable offence.

I don’t think that the saint meant this, but throughout much of my life, I mixed up “humility” with embarrassment.

Constructive Meekness Is Not Personal Disgust

Embracing modesty, according to mental health expert Ravi Chandra, isn’t equivalent to self-loathing. A person with balanced humility takes pride in their skills and accomplishments while admitting that knowledge is infinite. Chandra outlines various types of meekness: modesty regarding cultures; intergenerational humility; intellectual humility; humility of knowledge; humility of skill; humility of wisdom; modesty in the face of wonder; and meekness during hardship.

Mental health investigations has also identified multiple perks stemming from intellectual humility, encompassing enhanced endurance, tolerance and bonding.

Meekness in Action

During my career as a pastoral care practitioner at senior facilities, I now think about modesty as the act of attending to others. Meekness serves as a centering practice: revisiting, breath by breath, to the ground I stand on and the human being before me.

There are some residents who recount to me repeated tales about their past, repeatedly, every time I see them. Rather than counting minutes, I try to listen. I aim to remain inquisitive. What insights can I gain from this human and the memories they hold onto when so much else has gone?

Philosophical Stillness

I attempt to embrace the spiritual mindset which expert Huston Smith termed “creative quietude”. Taoist philosophers encourage humans to silence the self and reside in sync with the natural order.

This could be particularly important as humans seek to repair the harm humanity has caused on the environment. As written in her work Fathoms: The World in the Whale, writer Rebecca Giggs notes that practicing humility helps us reunite with “the primal self, the creature that quakes toward the unseen". Adopting a stance of modesty, of not-knowing, enables us to recognize people are components of a larger whole.

The Elegance of Modesty

There exists an emptiness and despair that follows believing you can do anything: success – be it getting rich, shedding pounds, or securing an election – transforms into the single permissible result. Meekness allows for grace and failure. I practice modesty, grounded in reality, suggesting I have everything I need to flourish.